The Politics of Living
“I don’t want any of my money going to anything political,” a woman said to me in a recent meeting. While I understood, such are the times that we live in, I couldn’t understand how to comply.
I was left wondering; how can you buy a banana with the certainty that none of the money you spent on that banana is going to politics? Surely it is. That banana is the product of trade negotiations and years of relationship building and all the ins and outs of how things work.
Catherine Connolly
Politics have certainly left a bad pong in the air in the US and everywhere else right now, but all is not lost. If you think that we have some funny ideas about elections, we are not alone. Many people think that Catherine Connolly, the newly elected Irish president, put the election in the proverbial bag when she displayed some serious “football” dribbling skills.
She stopped to play with some children during her campaign tour. Her ability caused more than one commentator to say game over on the election. I don’t think that it came down to football skills. But it was that Catherine showed time
Catherine Can Dribble
Heather Humphries
Her rival, Heather Humphreys, in contrast, seemed stiff and formal, not comfortable in her own skin. Worse yet, she tried to compete with Catherine head-to-head. Catherine learned Irish as an adult and is passionate about it.
Heather tried to speak Irish and fumbled badly. She made things worse by what sounded like a contrived story involving Covid and memory – it was the kind of self-sabotage that happens in a campaign that makes you wonder who is back there giving advice.
Heather tried to speak Irish and fumbled badly. She made things worse by what sounded like a contrived story involving Covid and memory – it was the kind of self-sabotage that happens in a campaign that makes you wonder who is back there giving advice.
The Beer Factor
On a similar note, journalists attribute something called the beer factor to how the winner is decided in the US. That is, which of the candidates would most people like to sit down with? I think that this idea has been missing for a few years, but honestly, as silly as it is, I hope that it comes back. It is at least personal and nice.
Intellectual Decisions
I am not sure how many intellectual decisions are made about people almost anywhere. And if they are, I don’t know if those are ever good ones.
At times I see decisions that are made blindly, ranging from dates to employment, and they are often bad for the blindness. I can tell when someone sat across a table from someone and evaluated them for a role and when they did not. The crazy thing is how fast we do make our minds up.
Many psychologists believe that it happens in seconds. Those seconds are loaded with the data that we have stored from years of experience. Our computer brains put that together without words before we know it.
The Diplomat
The other factor in our decisions are things as small as how our shoes feel, or how we slept. It is an illuminating thought that strikes me every time I watch the Netflix series, “The Diplomat.”
It is humbling to see that as the important people portrayed in the show frenetically shuttle around the world, how very human they are. Bad shellfish can ground a day. Deals are destroyed because two people can’t stand to be in the same room. The movers and shakers may have some advanced coping mechanisms, but we are all human in the end.
Behind Closed Doors
Another great thing about “The Diplomat” is that it illustrates, to paraphrase Charlie Rich, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Ever. Anywhere. If you think as some kind of armchair quarterback of any kind that you know something, know that you only know what someone has let you know.
I think that politics is the macro of our micro interactions. And here is my plea. For some reason, this last month has been tough, and I have watched person after person shoot themselves in the foot by being more Heather than Catherine.
So, I am offering a little advice: perhaps a dangerous stance, but I do deal with a lot of people on a daily basis, and I am veering more toward sunset than sunrise. So, as we negotiate our way through life, people, please, please be honest. Do your personal politics the way you wish politics were done. Be honest, be straightforward.
People often wonder how things go so wrong for them, how they get into crazy spirals. I can tell you in my perception: they lie or they get out over their skis with explanations.
Don’t Be a Bugger
Ask any policeman, lying shows. Sometimes truth is scary and feels counterintuitive but do it. Far better to own it, apologize and express remorse than anything else. I will help someone all day every day who does this.
The other universal bugger is the person who decides that they are above it all. Now some people are pedantic and will pursue every little thing like the right way to sharpen a pencil. This is not what I am talking about.
This is the driving without a license above the law person who decides to tell someone why the rules don’t apply to them. This is almost always the worst move, unless you are an artist. If you are an artist, great, but otherwise you are, I am sorry to say, a Karen.
It is a narcissistic move, and people won’t like you. Finally, are my chronic complainers. I have a few who contact me several times a week and I promise that if human existence depended on it, I would not do them a favor.
I am blessed enough that most people in my life are universally kind and generous. The Good Lord knows that I am very far from perfect, and they are very forgiving.
I am asking that we reflect on how we act in this season when we are all going to be Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine, as the Irish proverb says, living in each other’s shadows. Be aware of first impressions. The person who frowned at you might have just had a bad night.
Be yourself. Apologize if you need to. This seems like common sense, but I must tell you as we say, they call it common sense because it’s very uncommon. I hate to say a cliché, but honest to goodness, I cannot believe how rarely I see it.
