An Irish Love Story
The Irish wedding … you may think weddings are all the same and who could blame you? Maybe you have never been to one in Ireland.
My freshly minted French niece declined her invitation to the most recent family wedding declaring, “Irish weddings – they are just too over the top!” Ah, the French. Ah, what top?
Oh well, more for us, as they say. Honestly, if you aren’t up for the craic, you’re no addition anyway.
Long Courtships
Maybe one of the reasons that the Irish wedding is such an event is because it is a singular event in the lives of those involved. Most Irish couples date for what would be considered a long time here before they get married.
An average Irish courtship lasts for at least seven years before marriage is considered. Since Irish divorces take around that same seven years, marriage is a more sober decision than it is in the US.
Most couples are in their mid-to-late 30’s by the time they are standing at the altar. Couples also tend to have been each other’s only long-term partner. US style serial monogamy is not much of a thing in Ireland.
The Buildup
Having lived through one child’s nuptials on this side of the Atlantic, I can attest that planning a wedding is not the same in Ireland. Ireland is still free from a lot of the details, like wedding planners and all that ilk. It is pretty straightforward there.
Pick your venue, and it’s the beef and fish menu, and you are away. When you choose the venue, you have chosen the caterer and the bar. What’s left is finding the band and or DJ. The rest is all there.
Most couples are paying for part of the festivities too. The couple’s financial security is certainly part of the reason for later marriages. Larger Irish families can’t expect parents to foot the bill for the party. Everyone needs a minute to steady the wallet.
Castles Galore
In all fairness, you are going to be spoiled for choice when choosing wedding venues. C’mon, it’s Ireland!
There is a good chance that the reception will be in a castle. Not old musty castles, but some type of converted structure. They are hotels. And they are very pretty hotels because it is Ireland after all.
The wedding we attended was in a beautiful hotel, Lough Rynn Castle in County Leitrim. It is stunning, inside and out (https://www.loughrynn.ie/).
It was nice to be at something in Leitrim, a pretty and very overlooked county. The Castle made for beautiful photos and a wonderful place to stay.
The Drink
I know that you are all wondering about this, but be prepared, plenty of American weddings are more bacchanalian than Irish weddings. Always, there is a complimentary entry drink, generally champagne and whisky. This is a sexist arrangement in that the ladies take the champagne, the gentleman the whisky and its one apiece.
It’s a cash bar from then on, except for dinner, when wine is served. The cash bar keeps things from getting too crazy for the most part.
These weddings are twelve hours long or more. They are marathons of dancing and singing. You couldn’t keep an open bar for that long nor would that be a good idea. Besides, you’d never last if you were over-served.
Céilí
You had better go into training if you intend to attend an Irish wedding. My niece’s wedding had two bands and a DJ. The dancing never stopped.
I don’t mean that one or two people were left shuffling around. I mean that everyone was on the floor giving all they had. Granted, by the end some had more than others and years began to show.
Once again, we were woefully unprepared for the ceili dance, The Siege of Ennis. There is almost always at least one céilí dance.
That won’t happen again! And we were entertained by some solo performances, which frequently happens. The surprise was this time it was men doing a few Sean Nós dances.
Miss American Pie
Singing is important. The first time that I was out at a Hen Night in Ireland thirty some years ago, I got the “come on and sing ‘Miss American Pie.’” I know that it’s only called “American Pie,” it doesn’t matter.
The other standards are “Country Roads” and “Sweet Caroline.” Those songs are essentials for any trip to Ireland. They come up all the time. If you don’t know them, learn them.
Since it was Christmas, sure we had to do “Fairytale of New York.” Because it was in the West, there was the “N17.” I’m only telling you, so you don’t have to feel left out if you go.
Everyone sings. And they don’t sing like they are singing in Church. They sing like they mean it.
Irish Stamina
To go to an Irish wedding, you had best go into training. I thought that I was ready. To be fair to myself, I think that I was coming down with a little bit of something. I made it until 1:45. The rest hung on until the “afters” concluded at four AM.
Most wedding ceremonies are held between eleven and one. You know most of the drill. There are photos, speeches and food.
Dinners seem longer at Irish weddings, mostly because of the speeches. I am grateful that the tradition of reading telegrams from absent family members is gone.
Where the Irish wedding distinguishes itself is in the music. They all have bands. This one had two, and a DJ who played the saxophone. The dancing and the singing are more fundamental than the drinking.
And that dancing and singing goes on and on; for about six hours. I hate to say that you are judged if you go to bed at eight, but you are. Prepare!
An Irish wedding is a full-throated celebration. It celebrates love of course. But I think it is a blessing from those nearest and dearest in the form of an exhausting dervish of a ritual. And why not? They can stick it.
