Terry from Derry: Sympathy for the Devil

For those who know me, it’s no surprise that I’m vehemently opposed to the Orange Man because he’s a complete imposter, and worst of all, a father of lies. Someone once suggested that if I really wanted to change his supporters, I should get to know them.

I think this suggestion arose from my statement that they were all just morons. I may have added a suitable expletive to reinforce my point. I suppose I could go back in time and have a discussion with Hitler’s boot boys. I’m sure they were disillusioned, disempowered chaps spellbound by a racist capable of one of the world’s greatest atrocities.

No doubt, if I’d spoken with them I would’ve found out why they felt the need to elect a mass murderer. Asking me to understand the rationale behind such people is like asking the wife of a domestic abuser to sympathize with her oppressor.

The absurdity of such stupid argument only makes me want to underline my expletive moron comment. There is no room for understanding why someone wants to elect a buffoon who lies, cheats and creates division.

I may as well sit down with the Devil and ask him why the heavenly realms were not enough. Did God annoy you so much with his talk about righteousness and honour that you had to make a stand? 

Was the idea of not killing, not lying, and not cheating too much to ask of an angel like yourself? I need to know why you choose to give the finger to the Almighty and risk being ejected from the place we all want to end up. I need to cultivate sympathy for you Devil.

I wonder what his response would be. I’m sure he’s thinking, oh, boy, we have a sucker here. He’s ready to hear our best tall tales.

I should tell him that Kamala Harris is retarded. She’s defective. God knows, tongue in horny cheek here, that we’re better off without a woman to lead us.

After all, she’s the one that got us into this mess to begin with. She listened to lies (let’s not tell him where those lies came from), and it was her doing that got us kicked out of the garden. She demanded to make her own choices, and that was our undoing.

Women are not to be trusted to make such decisions. They had their chance to remain in paradise and they screwed it up. Since then, we men have had to put them in their place.

I suppose that’s right, according to the story, but wasn’t the story written by men? Wasn’t the point of the story not so much about a woman tricking a man but the punishment for wanting to know more? Maybe the writer of the story simply wanted to blame all of his problems on a woman.

After all, the story is merely a myth. It’s a parable, not a real story. There was no Adam and Eve to begin with. When there are two genders, one wants to lord it over the other.

The man got to the podium first and spun a yarn that other men loved. Unfortunately, there were women who bought the lie too.

There is no consideration to the fact that Satan might have been male, after all he appears in the story as a snake, a great symbol for a man’s penis. Angels might be portrayed as asexual but in this story it’s a male voice she listens to.

The Devil tells a good yarn. He deflects his own flaws by creating another situation in order to demonize a woman. He’s tired of living the good life, and wants to walk on the wild side, but he doesn’t want to be alone.

After persuading a third of heaven, he commandeers humans to oppose Godly oppression. I’m beginning to see the appeal. Why bother listening to facts when they get in the way of our prejudices? I mean, who cares about fact checking?

Isn’t it better to accept the word of a blithering idiot who speaks more truth out his rear end than his mouth? He is, after all, the smartest man in the world. 

I think he may, in fact, be co-creator of the world. It would terrible if we would ever doubt him.

It’s such a temptation to google him and find out what the real story is, but let’s not do that.  We might find out his snake is doing the talking when it comes to women.

As hard as I try, I cannot find it in me to understand why his followers continue to believe his lies. Please convince me that they are not expletive morons. Please help me to see any shred of human compassion or dignity in such a devious person.

I suppose he loves his family, but then Hitler loved those closest to him. And the Orange Man’s family are hardly embodiment of righteousness; there’s a lot of snake-like characteristics in their dealings.

Oh, that’s right, we don’t really prosecute wealthy people. It’s written into the constitution that we don’t imprison people who will tie up the courts with endless appeals because they have the money to do it. We’re better off slapping them on the wrists and letting them off.

And it doesn’t help that they have paid a lot of money to get the highest court in their back pocket. If we prosecute them, they will simply undo the conviction with their magic gavel. Is that another symbol of a male penis?

It seems that we can’t get away from the male need to strike down any argument that gets in the way of establishing a good lie. Will I ever be able to relate to the Orange Man’s followers?

I doubt it, since it requires the inability to deal with the truth. There is no sympathy for those who choose to blinker themselves to reality.